Over the river and Upstairs on the Square

Lord Bessie was a little anxious when she heard me tossing around the idea of a posting after our experience.  So, let me begin by saying I’ll gladly return to this Cambridge restaurant, very few caveats.  There.  That makes this a positive review in my book/blog.

Here’s what you’ll love:

First, the staff is attentive and conscientious and – I suspect but can’t prove – omnipresent.  Plus, all but one of the waiters was male.  Lord Bessie and I call any good-looking waiter Antonio, and this place was chock full of Antonios. (expectant pause) Fine, I’ll digress to explain.

Years ago, we were finishing up at another restaurant having been adequately served by a competent waitress.  The place wasn’t packed, so we were subconsciously if not fully conscious of the rest of the patrons and staff during our meal.  Thus, we were surprised by the sudden appearance of a very attractive, dark-complexioned young man at our table with our check:  “I hope you enjoyed your lunch, ladies,” he intoned deeply, with a sparkle of promise in his eyes.  (Later we decided he also had a sexy foreign accent.)  We played it cool, but I’m pretty sure one or both of us murmured, “What the heck was that??”  We later dubbed him Antonio, and have found ourselves likewise played in similar scenarios, we suspect in order to positively influence the size of the tip.  I can’t say for sure that it hasn’t worked on occasion.

Anyway, UotS didn’t have to deploy special forces since our needs were already being met by an Ivan Sergei look alike.  Let me just say, I don’t spend a lot of time dreaming about Ivan Sergei, but when he’s suddenly your waiter, your appreciation levels change.

Ivan Sergei or possibly our waiter.

Second, the décor is charming and eclectic and comfy.  The arrangement of tables nestles groups into corners or envelops them in velvet cushioned couches.  Even the table-less seemed to snuggle up to the bar and settle in.  Yet the vibe is energetic, with a flat screen in the corner playing the obligatory football game.  It’s your friendly upscale neighborhood bar, I guess, but it feels more like the home of your friendly upscale neighbor.

Third, and probably most importantly, we enjoyed our meals.  We both got the sirloin cheeseburger on a buttered potato roll with gruyere, Niman ranch bacon and cucumber pickles.  Tasty and extremely messy.  It came with fries, which were flavorful and well-seasoned but they earned a demerit for my usual fried potato complaint:  not crispy enough.  (If it helps you create a full picture, Lord Bessie didn’t want me to mention the fries.  She thought my censure would be too off-putting.)  For dessert, I enjoyed a couple scoops of their homemade chocolate malt ice cream.  Basically, I saw “malt” and stopped reading.  My sister opted for the sorbet – pear, pomegranate lemonade and some berry flavor with a couple of shortbread cookies.  After those burgers, this was about all we could handle.  All in all, exactly the meal your belly craves when fulfilling its natural urge to build thermal cushions of cellulite to protect you from the winter cold and snow.

However,

Caveat #1

I suspect this place is better suited to groups, or at least parties of 4 or more.  Lord Bessie and I were the only party of two not seated at the bar.  I further suspect that there was a bit of a scramble to accommodate us.  We were at a tiny little table that seemed placed in the middle of a major walkway between the bar/kitchen and the private dining room in the back and other areas of the restaurant.  Every time one of the ubiquitous wait staff walked by us, it felt like the thundering of a herd of elephants.  Worse, no one could take the corner clean enough to avoid hitting Lord Bessie in the shoulder or head.  She didn’t seem to care (most of the time), but I found it annoying as the observer.  I think I was nervous, positioned under what felt like a spotlight… further proof that our table was in unfamiliar territory.  We were both nervous, me and the table.

Caveat #2

I was on the verge of full heat stroke most of the time.  Granted, this could be a direct result of the awkward placement of our accent table (seriously, we were stuck behind an actual sofa), but the entire restaurant is cozy enough to contain the natural heat generated by the activity of the patrons and swinging door to the kitchen.  That’s why I think the roaring fireplace was maybe… possibly… a little overkill.  I mean I get it about ambience and all.  It’s lovely to observe, for sure.  I just think that perhaps a video flame or candles or decorative lights would have also conveyed a homey, living room atmosphere and not have required pourer’s elbow from the Johnny-on-the-spot water boys trying to keep me hydrated.

Don’t get me wrong, I really did like this place.  In fact, I had a chance to look at their 2011 list of upcoming events, and I’m interested.  Teas, Piano Sings (oh yes), Trivia, Wine Tastings, Fondue Parties… I am definitely compelled to return.  Just, you know, with a few extra friends and maybe wearing layers.