“I hate Alzheimer’s, cancer, heart disease and all debilitating afflictions. I think most mothers are real heroes. My heart breaks for the military sacrificing their lives and separating themselves from their families to protect my rights. But most of all, I hate when people put these messages on Facebook. So let’s stop peer pressured status updates! If you agree with me, you’ll post this too. I know my friends will. Let’s end this insanity in 2011!”
Ok, so yes, this one has been driving me crazy. I’ve rallied Lord Bessie as well. She never goes on Facebook, so it’s up to me to report such abuse on a regular basis. (What? It helps to build a posse.) The annoyance factor is pretty obvious, but I think a little deconstruction will help me understand why each instance of this propaganda has me looking for ways to reach through the screen and choke the offender.
1. What exactly do multiple postings of the same status do for the cause? It’s not like anyone is asking for a donation through a supporting organization. Nor do I see a call for mass mailings to our politicians to change laws or increase funding or advocate for change. Even a request for intercessory prayer would be compelling. Yet apparently, if you post the same message, somehow we’ll be that much closer to a cure or the end of war or appreciation for some super nice person.
I wonder how that works. Further, can this skill or process or what-have-you work toward other ends? For instance, could I insist that others post a wish that I become invincible? Or, perhaps we could all collaborate to end traffic jams forever. Or maybe with the help of all of my FB friends, I would never have to pay rent again! I’m not sure what the rules are or where the boundaries of propriety lie, but since it already seems like they’ve been crossed, all doors look open to me.
I wonder how that works. Further, can this skill or process or what-have-you work toward other ends? For instance, could I insist that others post a wish that I become invincible? Or, perhaps we could all collaborate to end traffic jams forever. Or maybe with the help of all of my FB friends, I would never have to pay rent again! I’m not sure what the rules are or where the boundaries of propriety lie, but since it already seems like they’ve been crossed, all doors look open to me.
2. There is also the implication that one isn’t a *real* friend if she doesn’t repost the same message. Crazypants. When have there ever, Ever, EVER been two people who agree point-for-point on everything? Lord Bessie is the most closely aligned with my thinking and yet there is no way we have the exact same priorities and views. And for those opinions that match, our expression or support of them can vary significantly. (This rant is a case in point. LB may snort and guffaw in agreement but has no interest in writing a treatise on it.)
Now, I realize that this is simply a strong-arm tactic to motivate people to adhere to these requests. After all, I have yet to be deleted from the FB accounts of any such status-updating-offenders for not reposting per instruction. So why even say it? Are they testing their power over their friends? Why not just have them spread their arms to show how much they love you? (“Thisssss much!”) And if it is a thermometer of love, why not just call it that? Perhaps an alternative could be offered: You’re under no obligation to repost if you simply remind me how much you love me in the comment section. And/or, send me a gift.
Now, I realize that this is simply a strong-arm tactic to motivate people to adhere to these requests. After all, I have yet to be deleted from the FB accounts of any such status-updating-offenders for not reposting per instruction. So why even say it? Are they testing their power over their friends? Why not just have them spread their arms to show how much they love you? (“Thisssss much!”) And if it is a thermometer of love, why not just call it that? Perhaps an alternative could be offered: You’re under no obligation to repost if you simply remind me how much you love me in the comment section. And/or, send me a gift.
3. Plenty of times, it turns out that what the Status-er wanted was a little sympathy. I’ve seen the likes of:
Comment from Status-er (under her own status): My mother died from cancer X years ago, and I miss her every day.
Comment from Friend 1: My heart goes out to you and your family!
Comment from Status-er: Thanks Friend 1! XOXO!!
Comment from Friend 2: Thinking of you and sending hugs…
Comment from Status-er: Thanks Friend 2. That means a lot.
You get the idea. To that end, I get it. It’s a boost. You’re sad, you want people to know you’re sad, you’re hoping someone shows you a little compassion, their comments salve your wound, repeat. I guess it’s because it just trumpets “NEEDY”. As I have been criticized for not being needy enough, you can imagine my lack of appreciation for this approach.
Comment from Status-er (under her own status): My mother died from cancer X years ago, and I miss her every day.
Comment from Friend 1: My heart goes out to you and your family!
Comment from Status-er: Thanks Friend 1! XOXO!!
Comment from Friend 2: Thinking of you and sending hugs…
Comment from Status-er: Thanks Friend 2. That means a lot.
You get the idea. To that end, I get it. It’s a boost. You’re sad, you want people to know you’re sad, you’re hoping someone shows you a little compassion, their comments salve your wound, repeat. I guess it’s because it just trumpets “NEEDY”. As I have been criticized for not being needy enough, you can imagine my lack of appreciation for this approach.
4. Finally, isn’t Facebook really just a social networking site? (That’s what they called the movie, after all.) So, in the words of the immortal Joker: “Why so serious?” These statuses aren’t all that social. More accurately, they’re anti-social. The Status-ers don’t really want to talk about it. No one wants to get down and dirty and delve into the issue… and they shouldn’t! But they’re not light issues, and the real intention notwithstanding, it feels like they’re being treated lightly.
